Bastille Day

Today we celebrated Bastille Day.

Breakfast for Hubs was "french toast" made with a croissant (I can't pull off crepes with a 7-month-old...maybe next year). Chase and I made Pots de Creme (but I cheated and made a really simple recipe - same reason as above), which we decorated with strawberries and blueberries (like the French flag). We drew and colored the French flag, the Eiffel Tower and the L'Arc de Triomphe. And finally, we listened (and marched) to the French National Anthem. Oh, and I listened to a little Tour de France coverage on NPR. Quite a day!

Health...

So some more weird, health news, I just rec'd my cholesterol test results and my cholesterol is high, mostly due to my crazy high HDL (88), last time it was 90.

And in other news, I definitely turned into my mother today. Totally freaked out when I saw what Chase had made at Summer camp. Their *snack* today was a good sized cup filled with the following layers: 1) brownie, 2) whip cream, 3) gummie worms and 4) small marshmallows. The cup probably holds about 2 cups of water, so you can only imagine what it looked like as I jumped across the table and pulled it from Chase's chocolaty, whip-cream covered fingers. I totally lost my cool. I told her she could have five more bites and then she had to throw it away. (And yes, I said this in front of the other kids, whose parents were like - geez, over-react a little why don't you). Chase kept her cool, but it was a little touch and go there for a while.

I think I'll throw together some recipe ideas for their next "cool bites" camp. I don't mind Chase having treats, but I have a big problem with American portions.

Diabetes Scare

As if the Hep C scare wasn't enough, Hubs received an inaccurate blood glucose level reading from his doctor. We found out the next day that it was, in fact, inaccurate, but for 24 hours Hubs thought he might have Diabetes. Good golly. What a week.

Fear, Prayer, Love, Life

On the Fourth of July I heard a story on the radio. A story that has rocked my world for the past week. A story about a tech at Rose Medical Center, who injected herself, multiple times with a painkilling drug. She then filled the dirty needle with saline and put it back on the shelf. In doing so, she may have passed Hepatitis C to any number of patients who had surgery at Rose between October and April of this year.

Hepatitis C is a virus that effects your liver. There is a cure (for some), some folks kick it themselves, but others die from it. And there is an outrageous percentage of people who have it, who don't know it, because many people don't show any symptoms - and some, can live their whole lives and never know they have it.

Thing is, I was one of the 5,000 patients who had surgery there (I had a small thing done after Madoc was born).

I don't ever think I have ever been so scared in my life. Being told that you have a risk of being infected by a hospital you trust, exposed to a contagious disease, is no way to spend a week. I had dreams about tornadoes every night. I called my Grandfather, who I believe is the closest to God a man can get, and asked him to pray for me. I'm a big fan in preventative prayer.

And I received word today that I am clean. Thank God. Thanks to my Grandfather for his prayers, and for the prayers from my immediate family. I believe they helped.

I ask everyone who reads this to say a little prayer for the 4,999 people who touched by this, who are waiting to hear, who are dreaming about tornadoes. And I also ask everyone to take a minute and be thankful for everything bold and beautiful in your life.

It's Complicated.

I decided to wean Madoc this month. And then I changed my mind. I've worked so hard and come so far it's like I have a mental block against stopping; like I can't. But I want to. I want my body back - all to myself. Which strikes me as being so selfish. "C'mon woman, you can do this another5 months, right?" I keep saying to myself. It's only 5 more months. I've already given up everything for 6 months - and made all kinds of changes for the 9 months prior, so what's the big deal? I guess the big deal is that I've started to feel like I need to give myself a little tlc. I've been putting everyone first for so long. But then it's not fair that Madoc gets the short end of the stick. And so I will most likely continue. For Madoc - And because I am consumed with guilt that I want to stop. And so this post serves as a small window to show what goes through my mind. Daily. Hourly. I obsess about these things. And then I decide not to worry about them until tomorrow (very Scarlet O'hara) , but then I do.

Bottom line? Madoc looks great. She will do well either way. And I have the hardest time when I know the decision I make can not be reversed. I can't just take a week off. I can't even take a day off. And I need a break. But then, after the break, I know I will miss it. Somehow, I will miss ever last bit of it. I missed Chase the moment I realized I couldn't feed her anymore. So maybe I just won't make the decision today. Maybe I'll make it tomorrow.

I'm Getting Old

For the past week or so my feet have been tingling. My hands have been tingling. I've felt a weird, nervy sensation in my right arm up to my elbow. So I stopped wearing flip flops (good move, I should have done it ages ago), and I started wearing a wrist brace, and now the tingling is almost all gone - I know it's because I've been carrying around a small child for three years, walking in poor shoes (or no shoes around the house) and living with wood, slate and marble floors. Now with Madoc (and all that baby kit), I am really starting to feel it. My body, while probably in the best shape ever, can't keep up with all the twisting and turning. Standing, stooping, kneeling. I need a massage. Make that 365 massages. One for every day of the year.

That said, every ache and pain is worth it. My two girls are amazing.

Chase's New Song

"Madoc is a butterfly, Mommy is a caterpillar, and Daddy is a sock." Chase sang this song today. When she sang it a second time, she ended it, "Daddy is a spider." Too funny.

Chase's Room

Today we rearranged Chase's room, so that there is "more to do," in hopes she may decide to play a little when she wakes up - before coming into our room. We are also reworking Mads' room a bit as Hubs needs to add a closet (so it can be officially called a bedroom if we sell this house) and because Mads is going to be on the move VERY SOON, which means we need to childproof this house. Egads.

Chase's First Wish

Chase told me her wish today is to "go to the jungle for the first time."

Chase's First Prayer

Hubs put Chase to bed tonight - and said a prayer with her before bed. He told me later that he asked her what she was most thankful for; she said love.