Montessori or No

I'm torn. Utterly and completely.

I love the concept of sending Chase to a Montessori school in the mornings (to build her independence, provide her with a change of scene, teach her to interact with other children in a respectful and meaningful way and empower her to explore the world on her own), but I hate the idea of sending her to a Montessori school in the mornings (I don't trust anyone with my darling girl). Yes, I have a problem.

It would also give me a much needed break from the constant care, and a much needed child care solution if I needed to go to see a dentist/doctor. And, of course, it would provide me with an opportunity to freelance - get back in the game, so to speak.

So, I filled out the Montessori school forms.
But I find myself on the fence about turning them in.

My biggest worry, beside the constant nagging thought that Chase would be better at home with me, is my career. Up until I had Chase, my career was moving swiftly forward. Now nothing but Chase and Hubs seems to matter. It's the most profound experience I've ever had; my feelings for my little girl are so deep and so strong.

So what do I do? Do I enroll her and try it out? I can give 3o-day notice. Seems like it would make sense to at least give a shot, especially given how long the wait lists are to get into other schools (the only reason why there is space is because it is a brand new location). Or would she be better off with me at home?

Ohhhhh. I don't knowwww. It makes my head hurt.

Update: Radon

We learned today that our house "to be" has, what is considered to be, a very high level of radon (did you know the Surgeon General has warned that radon is the second leading cause of lung cancer in the United States today?).

I, of course, obsess about this kind of thing (which drives Hubs crazy). Why is it worth obsessing over? Because it is invisible, tasteless and odorless (just like pesticides).

After talking with the US EPA, the Colorado Department of Health, and a local radon removal specialist, I am happy to report that they all concur - radon is extremely common in Denver. The issue can be resolved by installing a ventilation system that pushes the gases outside.

For fun reading about radon, visit: http://www.epa.gov/radon/