After having a baby, a woman's body and mind changes. At least mine did.
Thankfully, I've been able to reclaim my body (although I have not had a proper work out in over a year) - my mind is a different subject all together. I believe my body is what it is due to the fact we have been in constant motion since Chase was born. (Nothing keeps you slimmer than carrying a small child everywhere you go).
But I've also realized that in spite of my best efforts, there are some days when I look in the mirror and feel that I have just let myself go. My clothes are usually spotty with various things, courtesy of Chase - food usually. My clothes don't really fit - most are either too small (thanks to the dryer) or too big (thanks to weight loss), too fancy (old, work clothes) or too stained (thanks to my inability to eat with chopsticks while holding a squirmy baby).
So here I am in China, where I can really do - anything. All I have to do is dream it. And somehow, because anything is possible, I have frozen up. With so much possibility, I can't focus.
Having Nana Cris in town has been so great. It has helped me regroup. I know what I want now, I just have to sit down and figure out how to do it (like most things in life).