Socks

"Chase, this banana smoothie is going to knock your socks off," I said.
"You are so silly, Mama," she replied.
Then she took a sip of her smoothie.
"Mom," she said, "my socks are still on." Looking at her socks.

Madoc/Reflux/Sleeping

I hesitate to write this, because it seems too good to be true ... but I think Mads is outgrowing her reflux. I can eat things like donuts and baked goods, as well as sample foods with seasoning other than salt, and it doesn't upset her, make her cringe, make her hold her breath, make her turn bright red, make her throw-up, make her gurgle or make her scream. So gluten is back in (except it makes me really gassy and I feel a little out of it after I eat it, plus I crave large quantities of it after the slightest nibble - weird). Tomorrow morning, I am going to try miso soup, to see if she can handle the soy. From there, I will try something with dairy and see how that goes. The strange thing is, I have totally lost my taste for dairy. I genuinely miss soy. I don't, so much, miss dairy (except good cheese).

The not so great news? Now she is teething. And while she is the happiest baby on the planet, I can tell those teeth are really hurting her. She's trying to be a good sport, but they HURT! I suspect the night waking at this point is more about her teeth, than about reflux.

Dance, Dance

One of the brilliant things about Denver is that as soon as the Summer arrives, Jazz in the Park begins (a series of free jazz concerts on Sunday evenings by the boathouse). All shapes and sizes are represented in the Park - it's a great place to people watch - and the music is fabulous.

Tonight Chase danced and danced. Madoc watched, taking notes about how to spin and twirl. And Hubs and I enjoyed a little picnic. What a lovely way to wind down the weekend.

Tomorrow Chase starts her second month at camp (the first month went so well!)

And on Tuesday I go to see a foot doctor who should hopefully be able to tell me why I have tingling in my feet (could it have something to do with carrying an extra 30 lbs and wearing flip flops?) . I've been wearing my old running shoes over the past two days and it's made a huge difference. I can't believe I have foot problems in my mid-30s!

Madoc At 6 Months

6 Month Check-Up:
- Weight 19 Lbs (90th percentile)
- Height 27 3/4" (97th percentile)
- Head 17 1/2" (92nd percentile)
- 2 bottom teeth
- sits without support
- pushes up like it's no big thing
- into everything she can grab (and she grabs everything)

We love you, Mads!

Cutie Pie

This morning when I dropped Chase off for school, she did a full blown "I love you" - which means a kiss on each cheek, followed by an Eskimo kiss, followed by a big hug. All of the kids looked at us like, "where is my mommy?"

When I picked-up Chase, her cheeks were bright red and she was sweating from running so hard. I love to see her like this. In a full sweat. With a smile on her face. I love it. Love it. Love it.

The camp counselor said to Chase, "good bye cutie pie," as we left (holding hands).

A couple minutes later, she said to me "Mommy. Some people here think I'm a pie."

WAY TO CUTE.

Beautiful Baby

Mads, you are already turning heads. You get compliments every where we go. "What a beautiful baby," people say. "And what a beautiful big sister," they say to Chase. "Wow, two gorgeous girls." I just wanted to note it in your keepsake, girls, because you are both stunningly beautiful and will continue to turn heads - so best get used to it! Love from your Mama.

Happy 6 Months Mads!

Oh my dear Mads. Can you believe it has been six months? I can. Can you believe I have not eaten gluten, soy, dairy, gassy veg, citrus, tomato, or even a salad for 3 months? I can. And honey, you are totally worth it. I love you so much.

You are, as my mom put it, a little angel who has come to us. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be your mother. I am so lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for your smiles, your laughter and the joy you've brought our family. You will never really understand, I guess, until you have children of your own. But you are brilliant, like the first star in the sky or the moon reflecting off a dark ocean.

Your sister loves you too. So much she needs to touch you every minute of every day. She can't wait until you are just a little older, so that you can play with her. Oh the fun you'll have! She loves making you laugh. She loves feeding you and changing your diaper. She has, I think, already forgotten life before you.

And your father adores you. Simply adores you. And you adore him. Laughing, at times, only for him. You two have a special relationship already, and I am so happy to see it.

We love you, little darling. Thank you for coming into our family.

Stop That. Why?

"Mom, it hurts when I do this," Chase said as she grabbed her arm and pulled down on it.
"Then stop doing it," I tell her.
"Why?" she asks.

---

"Mom, this water is too hot," Chase said as she turned on the hot water.
"Chase, I told you not to touch the hot water, only turn on the cold water." I say....
"Why?" she asks

---

I must have 50 of these conversations with Chase a day. This number increases if she is tired, decreases if she has slept well. Most times I feel like just walking into another room, because after 25 of them, I start feeling like I am losing my mind.

6 Months: Compare

Mads at 6 months ...












Chase at 6 months:

Swim, Swim, Swim

Chase is getting to be better and better at swimming. And, of course, the only way to get better is to practice, practice. So I headed to the pool with Mads, my body glove aqua baby carrier, Chase and her floatie. Wow. So much work! I had to haul so much I was exhausted when we got to the car.

We drove to the pool. Somehow I managed to carry everything in - while still holding Chase's hand. And then I realized I forgot Chase's floatie in the car, so back out we went.

The pools in Stapleton ask all kids to get out of the pool every hour for 15 minutes, and wouldn't you know we arrived just in time for that to happen. It wasn't so bad - Chase enjoyed a little snack and I finished applying sunscreen to Mads. Finally the whistle blew, and in we went.

It went really well for about a half hour, at which point Mads had had enough - while Chase was only just getting warmed up. And Chase was tired, which led to a full blown, tear-filled breakdown. We finally pulled it all together and headed home with promises that we'd be back again soon. And then, when we finally got home, Mads rewarded me for all my hard work with a record-breaking diaper.

I Love You, Mom!

So I dropped Chase off at camp today, which she absolutely adores. She took her lunch and sat down next to the oldest, cutest boy like it was no big thing. I went over to them and said, "hi, what's your name?" And the little boy said something like Ryan. I said "hi Ryan, this is Chase." (oh I love that 3-year-olds don't get embarrassed) The boy looked at me and said, "my name is Nuryan." Whoa. "Oh, sorry." I said.

Giving Chase a kiss on her head, I said, "I'll be back soon. Have a good time."

As I headed to the door I heard Chase yell at the top of her lungs, "I love you, mom!" (Have I mentioned how much I love that 3-year-olds don't get embarrassed?)

I will treasure that moment forever.

Thanks Nana Cris!

We will miss you!

Developments

Madoc is getting her first tooth! It's on the bottom and already poking through (5 months!) - can't believe it's already time for teeth and solids. Her sleeping is still sporadic at best, but the rice cereal, in concert with formula, seems to be helping a little. That's not to say she is getting more sleep, it just seems to be *sounder.*

Last night we were awakened by our carbon monoxide detector's low battery blip; which is in Chase's room - Hubs and I must have spent 15 minutes looking for the darn thing, before we realized where it was coming from (of course it had to go off at 2 a.m.)

Chase's first day of CAMP is today. Two hours long. Two days a week. You go girl. She is SOOO looking forward to it. She helped me make her lunch this morning; too cute.

Bedtime fairy is working like a charm. She has been putting herself to sleep for a week and a half.

Hubs finished building out our side yard - extending the fence to give us an extra 600 square feet of yard for kids/dogs to enjoy.

Hubs has been working/traveling a lot. It stinks. I really don't enjoy spending weeks alone without him. It would be easier if the kids were just a little older (or if Madoc could sleep through the night). It always takes a couple days to readjust when he comes back, too. I aim to have Chase in bed by 6:30 when he's gone, and when he comes back, bed time is closer to 7:30/8, which is great because she should spend time with him after work. It is just challenging to do different schedules.

I am still doing the brown rice thing. Going on three months now. I had a couple oatmeal cookies yesterday and bloated out like crazy - my body yelled at me all night long. I don't mind eating like this, but there are some things I really want to add - like beans, legumes, tofu, nuts and miso soup.

I am struggling with the nursing thing (still). It's going well, don't get me wrong, I just don't love it. I feel horribly selfish that I want to eat cheese - and that eating cheese means I can't nurse. And it's not just cheese that I want. I just want freedom, which I haven't had in 14 months. And I know it doesn't make me a bad person, but I feel consumed with guilt, and I don't want to feed Mads formula, but I don't want to nurse her for another 6 months either. It is so complicated and I am so conflicted. I love her and the thing that gets me is that this time around I can nurse her and that if I don't that means I'm choosing not to - which is a different feeling than when you just can't nurse for some reason. Why am I not a big enough person to suck it up and nurse her/eat brown rice for another 6 months? I mean, it's only 6 more months, which is not much in the big picture and it may make a big difference in her life. And it doesn't matter that I nursed her for 5.5 months already, or that I changed my diet so she wouldn't have to be pumped full of meds for reflux. Oh the guilt. It is literally eating me alive. After June 22nd, which will mark 6 months of nursing, I will just take it one month (or maybe one week) at a time.

School

We were watching Sesame Street tonight and saw a little vignette about kids in Africa going to school. The narrator said, "it's important to go to school so you can get a job." Chase turned to me immediately. "Did you hear that?" she said? "If you go to school you get a job."

I said, "yes, that's right."

"What job do you want?" I asked.

"Daddy's job," she said.

Madoc 5 Months

So I am not so good at writing in my blog these days. Mostly because I just don't have two minutes to myself. The only reason I am writing tonight is because Hubs is upstairs putting Chase to sleep.

So what's new? Well, I'm still munching away on brown rice, steamed squash, sweet potatoes and pears. Can't believe it has already been two months of this! Although I have been starting to take little nibbles of things here and there. Fruit salad kept Mads up, but that was probably because there was some pineapple juice in it. More and more I find myself trying to figure out if it is just the way things are - or if it's because I'm eating something wrong. It is making me crazy; I mean really crazy. So I decided to just start eating a little here and there - and play it by ear.

Tomorrow is Mad's 5-month birthday, so that's five months of getting up no less than 5x night. I have high hopes though, because the pediatrician has given me the all clear to start rice cereal with her, so I am going to give it a go tomorrow morning to make sure it doesn't make her too gassy, and if it works, I will try it tomorrow night, too.

All in all, I shouldn't complain. She is a simply wonderful child. I am so lucky to have two. I just wish I could get more sleep, as I get really short with Chase - for no reason other than that I am exhausted. Poor child, I used to have endless amounts of patience for her and suddenly I have turned into a mom who has little patience for everything.

I am so sorry, Chase. It will get better, my love, I promise.

As for all the rest, we have started our veggie garden (which has already produced one, luscious, strawberry). The columns are fixed so we are working hard on making our front yard presentable. I am trying to jettison items we no longer need/use/want, but there seems to be no end in sight of things coming in -- just as I get a box out, another box comes in.

We are getting excited about our trip to Portland in July. That will be so nice.

Denver is simply beautiful. The weather here is really, truly, amazing. It just seems to stay at 70 degrees - or thereabouts for the majority of the year.

Hubs is in consideration for another role at his company. My fingers are crossed. I so hope he gets it. I purposely avoid blogging about his work, but I have to say I am having a really hard time with all the travel he has to do in this role. He leaves again on Sunday - and taking care of the two little ones wears me out (and I am already working on empty).

Chase starts her Summer camp in June. Should be very interesting to see how she handles it. It isn't much time, but it is enough to break her in to the idea of a school environment. Two times a week for two hours each time.

The pools open this weekend. I am super excited. I love the Denver Summer pool scene. It's just loads of moms and kiddos. I'm not sure how I'm going to handle two girls this time. The most interesting thing is that I have never felt better about my body - and I have not been to the gym in three years. I would have never thought I'd feel good about my body after having two kids, but I do.

Other ramblings... Madoc is disliking her swing and enjoying her excersaucer. She can almost roll over. I think she may be a little behind because I haven't given her as much tummy time due to her reflux. She is so curious. She really likes observing. I can tell she is just waiting until the very moment she can move freely about. I think once she starts crawling/walking, we won't be able to slow her down. Not even for a minute.

Chase is amazing (as always). She counted to 40 the other day. She can tell time (at least name the hour). She makes up her own songs and rhymes. I continue to be amazed at how gracious and giving she is with her friends. She desperately wants to read and write, but doesn't like to "learn" how. She does really complex (funny) dance moves, where she rocks around on the tips of her toes and then pulls an "Elaine-like" move. Her drawings are starting to get more complex as well. She cares deeply for Madoc, so deeply I have to peel her off of Madoc many many times each day. She's having a hard time listening these days. And since I refuse to use food as a motivator (snacks, candy), I have had to turn to TV. If she listens all day she gets a show just before dinner. I hate to do it, but it works like a charm. Gone is the defiant, non-listening girl and back is my good, ole sweet Chase.

The biggest thing I'm struggling with is bed time. It is so hard to put them both to sleep by myself. Madoc has a hard stop at 7/7:30 and Chase usually goes to bed at this time as well. So I end up with both girls keeping each other up - each getting more and more wound up. I have to figure something out, and soon.

And so, I can't believe it has already been five months. It feels like Madoc was born yesterday, but I sure feel tired. And I sure to love both girls sooo much. And while I'd never wish this time away, I do look forward to being able to sleep a little more and have just a little more time (read: any) to myself.

Asleep, Finally....

So it has taken me, oh, at least 2 hours to put both girls to bed (on my own). It's painful. Mads starts crying. Chase wakes up. Chase kicks or claps or something and Mads wakes up. And I keep telling myself, "they must fall asleep eventually!"

Germs

When we lived in China, I never let Chase touch anything. I was horrified when locals reached out and touched her hands, her face, her lips. I bought the strongest germ-killer I could (which is more potent than anything one can buy over the counter in the US - I'm sure it burned a layer of skin off with every application).

At any rate, none of this seems to have impacted Chase. She has no concept of clean vs dirty. None. She will touch the bottom of her shoe and then put her hand in her mouth. She will use the brush on her toothbrush to scrub the sink. She will let Tag lick her fork and then stick it in her mouth. She will use sidewalk chalk and then dig in the dirt and then put her hands in her mouth. Seriously. I don't get it. I feel like every other word these days is, "Chase, please wash your hands."

And no, I don't feel like I'm being extreme. I mean there's pig flu out there. And she needs to learn good hygiene, especially as she heads to camp in June.

But that's not the only thing I'm pulling hair out about these days. She asks WHY all-the-time. Which I honestly don't mind if she would just listen to the answer instead of asking WHY again and again. And then there's the whining and the hanging on me. I can take one of these things, but all three is like she has somehow identified the Torture Triangle, which, when combined with my lack of sleep makes me want to curl into a ball under the dining room table.

She has also identified the fact that her feet drive me crazy. She puts them on me. All the time.

But then, she will lean in and kiss me, and say, "mommy, I love you," and somehow all is bright and beautiful in the world again.

Whoa

Mads slept from 9 p.m. until 4 a.m. - straight!

And Chase was cleaning her mirror today until it was "clean as a whistle." Where did she get that from? It couldn't have been me, I always say those things wrong - like clean as a bell or something like that...

Chase is getting soooo big. And so it Madoc. I guess that is what happens, it's just hard to believe it happens so fast. I mean, she's only been around for just over 3 years and she is already so opinionated. How does that happen?

And today, out of the blue, she said, "Oh mama, I love you SO much." With the same emphasis she uses when she is "SO" hungry (aka wants a marshmallow).

Updates

Mads night schedule is as follows.
Bedtime: 7/8pm
Wakes at: 10, 12, 2, 3:30 and 5 a.m.
Then she takes a nap again around 8 am.
During the day she can go for 3 hrs without feeding.

Many children at this age are supposed to be able to sleep through the night. Egads.

I have tried keeping her awake all day.
I have tried stuffing her with formula just before bed.
I have tried to give her regular naps.

Nothing seems to work. And her waking at night is pretty consistent - the time of night.
But I also recall that nights, from the beginning. were really tough.

So I am totally open to any/all suggestions. Bring them on.

Mads Update

Took Mads to the pediatrician for her 4 month check-up. All is well. She is almost 17 lbs! And in the 97th percentile across the board.