The Girls

Updates

While we placed the highest bid, we are still awaiting word from the bank as to if we get the house. At first I was terrified we might get the house; now I'm terrified we won't.

Chase is loving school. Montview is really a great place for her. As my mom said, her tantrums have subsided and she has become a very happy little girl, once again.

Madoc is crawling. She is pulling up to standing. Oh goodness. Not even 9 months and standing. Eegads. She still puts EVERYTHING in her mouth. I keep trying to keep things out of her mouth, but things inevitably find their way into her mouth. She is also teething like crazy, which means, once again, that there is no sleep for me. I can't believe it has been over a year since I slept through the night.

I've Got To Get The Boys

Today, after I picked Chase up from preschool, we went out onto the playground and I let her play with the kids for a while. She ran around like crazy. I was trying to figure out what she was doing. She came by a little while later, completely out of breath, and told me she was trying to "get the boys."

Okay, so she is 3 - and trying to get the boys. Is this really possible? I was terrified of boys until, well, I found my husband. Now I think boys are cool. But where did this boy thing come from? I think we are in trouble if she is already running after older boys at school ...

I'm So Proud Of You

"I'm so proud of you, Chase." I said as we were sitting on the couch.
"I'm so proud of you, Mom." Chase replied.
"Oh yah? Why?" - me
"Because you draw pictures with me." She replied.

New House

Still awaiting word from the bank as to if they will accept our offer.
Here's a picture. The house is crazy, isn't it?

View:















Living Room:














Dining Room:














The Front:






It's bananas!

New House

I kinda wanna puke. We just bought an amazing house online. The house is in Portland, Oregon, which means we will return, if all goes well, to the city I grew up in, the city I love, and the city where my family (and my husband's sister) lives. HURRAY.

So here's the story. A friend here told me about her friend, who bought 6 houses over the summer. The average price she payed? $40K. Each house has been rented. Next year she will be able to retire. Wild stuff. So I thought I would just *jump* online and check out the auction scene in Portland. Would you believe we found a property - one we both LOVE - which was going up for auction, well, today. After a week of obsessing, and I mean REALLY obsessing, we finally had a chance to bid on the property today. Would you believe we were the winning bid? I still can't. I'm super happy, but at the same time I am sick to my stomach.

There are still some hoops we've got to jump through. Hoops that have to do with financing. And for some reason they *sold* it to us, without us meeting their reserve bid, so the seller has to confirm they will sell the house to us for the bid we placed.

The good news? The house looks amazing. It is in one of the best school districts in Portland. The bad news? It is on a VERY busy street. VERY busy. So we're going to have to figure out a way to make it safer. For everyone involved. We're so excited. Will post pictures if we actually get it.

Hi Ho, Hi Ho, It's Off To School Chase Goes

Today is Chase's first day of preschool. The school we chose is co-operative, which means there is a lot of parent involvement. Every day there is a helping parent and child. The helping family provides the snack. We signed-up for the first day. Here is Chase making the snack...

Chase Updates

Chase starts preschool tomorrow! I can't believe she is old enough. But I am glad she is. She needs school - she is a social creature and craves interaction. Even if I line-up three play-dates in one day, she says, "and then who will we see? what will we do?" On the days I don't have anything lined-up, she becomes unmanageable. Big tantrums over nothing. Sobbing. Screaming. Just because she has nothing better to do. I try to keep her busy, but I just can't have something for her every minute of every day. Hope it gets better soon. Age 3 has been a real challenge for all involved.

And she starts violin next week. Hurray!

obsessed

we are obsessed by this house. it is haunting us, from Portland. it goes up for auction on Sunday. wish us luck.

http://picasaweb.google.com/cturner144/SWRiverside?authkey=Gv1sRgCIDn-vKy49OYQw#5379577394661219922

Mads Developments

She is really moving now. She is clapping. She is waving "bye." She is saying "dada." She has been weaned. She loves her Daddy - big smiles - all the time. And she loves, loves, loves Taggart. And Taggart, well, tolerates her.

Are You My Mother?

Yes, Chase asked me if I was really her mother. Just a casual question over breakfast.

Yes, I replied. I carried you in my tummy for 9-months. And then I pushed really hard. And then you came out. And I held you in my arms and told you that I loved you. Forever and ever and always.

Age 3

Is proving to be a tough year - for all involved. Tonight Chase cried and cried, over what I can only say was absolutely nothing, which she somehow turned into something. She has actually cried herself to sleep twice this week. Not even in bed. One time was in the car. One time was when she was sitting on the couch. I looked over one minute, she was sobbing hysterically. I looked over a minute later and she was fast asleep. It's strange. I'm not sure what to do. I've realized that reasoning with her is useless. Fighting with her just doesn't make sense. So I tell her as rationally as I can that I am "here for her," when she wants to talk, but that I will just be waiting in the other room. It hurts me to hear her cry, but I just don't know what else to do.

On another note, her teacher came to visit us the other day. It was funny to hear Chase giving her a tour of our home. Of her things. It was really quite cute. I'm sure the teacher probably came away from the meeting thinking my home was, at best, a good attempt at managing chaos.

We are all eagerly awaiting my mom, who arrives tonight and will stay for a week. Maybe with her visit I will get some sleep and Chase will get the level of attention she is craving so badly.

Dearest Chase, I'm so sorry I can't spend every waking minute with you. I did for three years, and it was amazing. And now it is still amazing, but in a different way, as Madoc brings joy and light into our lives. You are such a good big sister.

I'm So Bad At Blogging

The days seem to pass so quickly. And by the end of the day, I am totally exhausted.

I am learning more and more about my children every day. The lesson of the past week is to keep Chase busy at all costs. August has been a slow month. I decided to lay low this month, especially after having problems with my feet, arms and back (pushing myself too hard every day and carrying Mads around everywhere).

Chase has not taken to this new, laid-back schedule. Perhaps because we've been "going, going, going" ever since the day she was born. And a bored Chase is, I've found, a winy, hangers-on, complaining, getting into trouble, girl. VERY much the opposite of the happy, content girl I've had up until this month.

Mads, on the other hand, is a roll with the punches kinda gal. As long as she gets her naps, she is a happy, sweet, content baby. Chase was also a beautiful, sweet, content baby - we are so lucky.

Grand Lake, CO

Just returned from a trip to Grand Lake, CO. We went up with Hubs, to spend 4 nights with friends at a cabin. Hubs had to leave after the first night, to go to NJ for work. So I had to take care of both kiddos, which proved to be my greatest challenge thus far. The first night after Hubs left, Chase had a major nose bleed and Mads didn't sleep. The second night, Chase had an "accident" .(she has never, ever, wet the bed. not even when she was a baby) and Mads woke up way too many times. The third night, I finally pulled Mads into bed with us and we managed to only get up three times (only to find out a bear had been right outside our window both times). Below are photos from the first day. I couldn't carry Mads and run after Chase and take pictures.

And, for whatever reason (maybe just to add a little extra challenge), Chase became completely unmanageable by day 3. Didn't listen. Pushed every button (about 75 times). It was like wires crossed in her brain and no matter what, I just couldn't untangle them. I probably should have packed her up and came home the morning of day 3. Plus she started to get sick (one of her friends was sick when we arrived, so all of the craziness could just be Chase getting sick).

I am hoping that a nice, mellow evening will get her back on track.



























Snapped these from the car - beautiful country - notice there are no guard rails...







































I took these pictures of the dead trees.
Thousands and thousands of them.
The pine beetle has really devastated the forest.
I have to say it made me REALLY uncomfortable being in the middle of so many dead trees.














The green trees are alive. The brown/gray trees are not.














We stayed in a house on a smaller lake (near Grand Lake).
The house had a little beach, boats and a fire pit.
It was a great location for kids.














































Chase loved the lake. Too bad there were leeches.







































































































And let's not forget about Mads.
She just turned 8 months.
Beautiful girl. All smiles. All the time.







































I had to keep both girls smothered in sunscreen.




















And here is the inside of the cabin.
Joy, Chris, Summer and Gigi were our hosts.
So fabulous - but next time Hubs better be there the whole time.

To The Mountains

Tomorrow, we head to the mountains. We're going to Grand Lake, which we've heard is lovely. We'll be there for four nights (except Hubs, who has to come home on Sunday - and leave for New Jersey on Monday). Yuck-o. So it's going to be me and the girls (and the rest of the crew).

I must admit, I hesitated about going, knowing that I would have to watch the girls all by myself for four days/three nights (there will be other families there too, it's just more work when you're away from home). But then I said, "Self, seriously. Are you going to deny the girls experiences because it's a hassle for you?" And I thought about how easy it would have been to not travel when Chase was little, but how much she got out of it - how much I got out of it. Sure, Grand Lake is not exactly the same - but traveling with two kids is not the same as traveling with one, either. So I decided then and there, what I always knew to be true (what sort of strange sentence was that?). That when it comes to me being a mom, I will never take the easy route out. I will always try to give them new experiences, over just staying at home. And hopefully, when they get older, they will value it - and perhaps even incorporate it into their own lives.

My parents passed it down to me, now it's my turn to pass it along to my little ones. I love you, girls!

Class Lemonade

We just returned from a class lemonade, given by Chase's preschool. Chase had so much fun she didn't want to leave. She cried when it was time to go. Maybe I should enroll her in a m,w,f am program, too!

Bugs

I have to admit that for the past six months, I have been just trying to get through each day - just trying to keep Chase from smothering Madoc with her love. Trying to spend equal amounts of time with both. Trying to show Chase my love for her has only grown stronger, not diminished, since Madoc was born.

I used to do a lot of projects with Chase, but over the past six months, I must admit there have been a distinct lack of projects. As Madoc is now capable of being on her own (but watched like a hawk), I decided it was high time to up my game on the project/arts/crafts front.

So Chase and I studied bugs yesterday.
We made bugs from all sorts of things - paper, clay, puff balls.
We talked about bugs that live in trees, bugs that live on rocks, bugs that live in the water.
These are clay bugs, which we named and made stories about.
She came up with "reader bugs," who read books at the reader bug library.

Madoc's First Word

Madoc said her first word today. "Dada."
Hubs looked at her as if to say, "really?"
She smiled and said, "Dada."

New Bike

Chase's new "big girl" bike arrived today.
She was so excited.
Even though it didn't have Dora and Boots all over it.
She showed Hubs how to put it together.




















































And then at last...

































We put her helmet on and took her around the block. Two blocks, actually. And finally, on the last leg, she really nailed it. Speeding up and then braking, like it was no big thing. And then she told us, "this is how I ride my bike," and she proceeded to walk us through it. She gets very authoritative and almost sounds like she is reading from an instruction manual at times (I wonder where she gets this - not).

Lemon Pie

Chase is a great helper in the kitchen. She loves it - I love it. She cooks with me on a regular basis. She is especially good at making sandwiches for her daddy's lunch.

Yesterday, she helped me bake a lemon pie. Her job? To spoon the seeds out of the lemon juice. She was very enthusiastic at first. But then she began to get discouraged. She said, "Mommy, there are too many seeds." I told her to do what she could and that I would do the rest. She kept at it. And kept at it. There must have been twenty seeds.

When she got to the last seed, she said, "Mommy, this seed is just too fast." And then she got it. She was so happy she asked me to take a picture of her with the seeds. (I keep telling her not to stick her tongue out, but I think her tongue is too big for her little mouth, as it keeps appearing in photos.)

Mads (7.5 months) & Chase (3.5 years)

She is on the move. She loves to crawl across the floor. She loves to stick her hand in Taggart's water bowl. She can sit unsupported. She went in a swing for the first time today. She went down a slide (on her tummy, feet first) and was SO happy - happy out of her mind. When I took her off, she started crying. I put her back on - she stopped crying and started laughing. She's awesome.

Chase is having a hard time being 3.5 years old. There is a lot of drama. About everything. About food. About "boo boos." Everything seems to be whatever it is, magnified, times 100. If she is tired, then we are in for tears. Screaming. But then the sweet Chase returns. Eventually. Tired. And watching her in the meltdown process reminds me of me when I was little. Wanting to be good, but wanting to just scream. And so I let her scream. Until she doesn't want to anymore. And then I hug her, and tell her I love her. I tell her it's okay, not to worry and that I love her. I will always love her. No matter what.

Babies

I'm starting to understand why women have babies. Lots of babies. There is something absolutely intoxicating about having someone need you; really need you. Sure, it's exhausting, but there is also something about it that makes one want more. No, I'm not saying I want another baby - my two girls make me very happy.

About two weeks ago, Madoc decided to self-wean. Perhaps she sensed I was unable to make the decision myself, so she decided to take it into her own hands. The first time she pulled away from me it made me so sad. And it still makes me sad. We are down to three feeds (roughly) and at this point it is way more about comfort than anything else. After all the sacrifice (food, sleep, my body, my life), after putting my head down, gritting my teeth and nursing her through reflux, I definitely feel like I am missing it, missing her needing me. Of course I know she still needs me, and Chase needs me. It's just the realization that we're moving on to the next chapter - the part where Madoc is no longer a baby, eating solids, moving around.

I can certainly understand why parents freak out when their kids leave for college, when they get their own life. While at the same time, you want them to be their own person, have strong beliefs and live their own life. Being a parent is a crazy endeavor.

We Are Expecting...

to be an aunt and uncle in late January. No pics of the expectant mum or dad for now. Hoping to get a good shot over Thanksgiving or Christmas. I am betting he will be a boy.

We are also planning to welcome a little cousin in the Fall. No word as to the gender - yet!

Fingers crossed for Auntie Lockett/Uncle Courtney and Uncle Pat/Aye for safe, happy pregnancies.

Portland Trip

Just returned from our Portland trip. Had so much fun. Wish we were still there. Boo hoo.

Dad and Fern play with Madoc...














Mom and Chase played non-stop...














We caught up with my family...












Here's my cousin Sean holding Madoc...














Mom and Mads...












Yay Yay and Chase...












Yay Yay and Nee Nee with Chase...





























Hubs and Mads... awe...

Bastille Day

Today we celebrated Bastille Day.

Breakfast for Hubs was "french toast" made with a croissant (I can't pull off crepes with a 7-month-old...maybe next year). Chase and I made Pots de Creme (but I cheated and made a really simple recipe - same reason as above), which we decorated with strawberries and blueberries (like the French flag). We drew and colored the French flag, the Eiffel Tower and the L'Arc de Triomphe. And finally, we listened (and marched) to the French National Anthem. Oh, and I listened to a little Tour de France coverage on NPR. Quite a day!

Health...

So some more weird, health news, I just rec'd my cholesterol test results and my cholesterol is high, mostly due to my crazy high HDL (88), last time it was 90.

And in other news, I definitely turned into my mother today. Totally freaked out when I saw what Chase had made at Summer camp. Their *snack* today was a good sized cup filled with the following layers: 1) brownie, 2) whip cream, 3) gummie worms and 4) small marshmallows. The cup probably holds about 2 cups of water, so you can only imagine what it looked like as I jumped across the table and pulled it from Chase's chocolaty, whip-cream covered fingers. I totally lost my cool. I told her she could have five more bites and then she had to throw it away. (And yes, I said this in front of the other kids, whose parents were like - geez, over-react a little why don't you). Chase kept her cool, but it was a little touch and go there for a while.

I think I'll throw together some recipe ideas for their next "cool bites" camp. I don't mind Chase having treats, but I have a big problem with American portions.

Diabetes Scare

As if the Hep C scare wasn't enough, Hubs received an inaccurate blood glucose level reading from his doctor. We found out the next day that it was, in fact, inaccurate, but for 24 hours Hubs thought he might have Diabetes. Good golly. What a week.

Fear, Prayer, Love, Life

On the Fourth of July I heard a story on the radio. A story that has rocked my world for the past week. A story about a tech at Rose Medical Center, who injected herself, multiple times with a painkilling drug. She then filled the dirty needle with saline and put it back on the shelf. In doing so, she may have passed Hepatitis C to any number of patients who had surgery at Rose between October and April of this year.

Hepatitis C is a virus that effects your liver. There is a cure (for some), some folks kick it themselves, but others die from it. And there is an outrageous percentage of people who have it, who don't know it, because many people don't show any symptoms - and some, can live their whole lives and never know they have it.

Thing is, I was one of the 5,000 patients who had surgery there (I had a small thing done after Madoc was born).

I don't ever think I have ever been so scared in my life. Being told that you have a risk of being infected by a hospital you trust, exposed to a contagious disease, is no way to spend a week. I had dreams about tornadoes every night. I called my Grandfather, who I believe is the closest to God a man can get, and asked him to pray for me. I'm a big fan in preventative prayer.

And I received word today that I am clean. Thank God. Thanks to my Grandfather for his prayers, and for the prayers from my immediate family. I believe they helped.

I ask everyone who reads this to say a little prayer for the 4,999 people who touched by this, who are waiting to hear, who are dreaming about tornadoes. And I also ask everyone to take a minute and be thankful for everything bold and beautiful in your life.

It's Complicated.

I decided to wean Madoc this month. And then I changed my mind. I've worked so hard and come so far it's like I have a mental block against stopping; like I can't. But I want to. I want my body back - all to myself. Which strikes me as being so selfish. "C'mon woman, you can do this another5 months, right?" I keep saying to myself. It's only 5 more months. I've already given up everything for 6 months - and made all kinds of changes for the 9 months prior, so what's the big deal? I guess the big deal is that I've started to feel like I need to give myself a little tlc. I've been putting everyone first for so long. But then it's not fair that Madoc gets the short end of the stick. And so I will most likely continue. For Madoc - And because I am consumed with guilt that I want to stop. And so this post serves as a small window to show what goes through my mind. Daily. Hourly. I obsess about these things. And then I decide not to worry about them until tomorrow (very Scarlet O'hara) , but then I do.

Bottom line? Madoc looks great. She will do well either way. And I have the hardest time when I know the decision I make can not be reversed. I can't just take a week off. I can't even take a day off. And I need a break. But then, after the break, I know I will miss it. Somehow, I will miss ever last bit of it. I missed Chase the moment I realized I couldn't feed her anymore. So maybe I just won't make the decision today. Maybe I'll make it tomorrow.

I'm Getting Old

For the past week or so my feet have been tingling. My hands have been tingling. I've felt a weird, nervy sensation in my right arm up to my elbow. So I stopped wearing flip flops (good move, I should have done it ages ago), and I started wearing a wrist brace, and now the tingling is almost all gone - I know it's because I've been carrying around a small child for three years, walking in poor shoes (or no shoes around the house) and living with wood, slate and marble floors. Now with Madoc (and all that baby kit), I am really starting to feel it. My body, while probably in the best shape ever, can't keep up with all the twisting and turning. Standing, stooping, kneeling. I need a massage. Make that 365 massages. One for every day of the year.

That said, every ache and pain is worth it. My two girls are amazing.

Chase's New Song

"Madoc is a butterfly, Mommy is a caterpillar, and Daddy is a sock." Chase sang this song today. When she sang it a second time, she ended it, "Daddy is a spider." Too funny.

Chase's Room

Today we rearranged Chase's room, so that there is "more to do," in hopes she may decide to play a little when she wakes up - before coming into our room. We are also reworking Mads' room a bit as Hubs needs to add a closet (so it can be officially called a bedroom if we sell this house) and because Mads is going to be on the move VERY SOON, which means we need to childproof this house. Egads.

Chase's First Wish

Chase told me her wish today is to "go to the jungle for the first time."

Chase's First Prayer

Hubs put Chase to bed tonight - and said a prayer with her before bed. He told me later that he asked her what she was most thankful for; she said love.

Socks

"Chase, this banana smoothie is going to knock your socks off," I said.
"You are so silly, Mama," she replied.
Then she took a sip of her smoothie.
"Mom," she said, "my socks are still on." Looking at her socks.

Madoc/Reflux/Sleeping

I hesitate to write this, because it seems too good to be true ... but I think Mads is outgrowing her reflux. I can eat things like donuts and baked goods, as well as sample foods with seasoning other than salt, and it doesn't upset her, make her cringe, make her hold her breath, make her turn bright red, make her throw-up, make her gurgle or make her scream. So gluten is back in (except it makes me really gassy and I feel a little out of it after I eat it, plus I crave large quantities of it after the slightest nibble - weird). Tomorrow morning, I am going to try miso soup, to see if she can handle the soy. From there, I will try something with dairy and see how that goes. The strange thing is, I have totally lost my taste for dairy. I genuinely miss soy. I don't, so much, miss dairy (except good cheese).

The not so great news? Now she is teething. And while she is the happiest baby on the planet, I can tell those teeth are really hurting her. She's trying to be a good sport, but they HURT! I suspect the night waking at this point is more about her teeth, than about reflux.

Dance, Dance

One of the brilliant things about Denver is that as soon as the Summer arrives, Jazz in the Park begins (a series of free jazz concerts on Sunday evenings by the boathouse). All shapes and sizes are represented in the Park - it's a great place to people watch - and the music is fabulous.

Tonight Chase danced and danced. Madoc watched, taking notes about how to spin and twirl. And Hubs and I enjoyed a little picnic. What a lovely way to wind down the weekend.

Tomorrow Chase starts her second month at camp (the first month went so well!)

And on Tuesday I go to see a foot doctor who should hopefully be able to tell me why I have tingling in my feet (could it have something to do with carrying an extra 30 lbs and wearing flip flops?) . I've been wearing my old running shoes over the past two days and it's made a huge difference. I can't believe I have foot problems in my mid-30s!

Madoc At 6 Months

6 Month Check-Up:
- Weight 19 Lbs (90th percentile)
- Height 27 3/4" (97th percentile)
- Head 17 1/2" (92nd percentile)
- 2 bottom teeth
- sits without support
- pushes up like it's no big thing
- into everything she can grab (and she grabs everything)

We love you, Mads!

Cutie Pie

This morning when I dropped Chase off for school, she did a full blown "I love you" - which means a kiss on each cheek, followed by an Eskimo kiss, followed by a big hug. All of the kids looked at us like, "where is my mommy?"

When I picked-up Chase, her cheeks were bright red and she was sweating from running so hard. I love to see her like this. In a full sweat. With a smile on her face. I love it. Love it. Love it.

The camp counselor said to Chase, "good bye cutie pie," as we left (holding hands).

A couple minutes later, she said to me "Mommy. Some people here think I'm a pie."

WAY TO CUTE.

Beautiful Baby

Mads, you are already turning heads. You get compliments every where we go. "What a beautiful baby," people say. "And what a beautiful big sister," they say to Chase. "Wow, two gorgeous girls." I just wanted to note it in your keepsake, girls, because you are both stunningly beautiful and will continue to turn heads - so best get used to it! Love from your Mama.

Happy 6 Months Mads!

Oh my dear Mads. Can you believe it has been six months? I can. Can you believe I have not eaten gluten, soy, dairy, gassy veg, citrus, tomato, or even a salad for 3 months? I can. And honey, you are totally worth it. I love you so much.

You are, as my mom put it, a little angel who has come to us. I am so grateful for the opportunity to be your mother. I am so lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for your smiles, your laughter and the joy you've brought our family. You will never really understand, I guess, until you have children of your own. But you are brilliant, like the first star in the sky or the moon reflecting off a dark ocean.

Your sister loves you too. So much she needs to touch you every minute of every day. She can't wait until you are just a little older, so that you can play with her. Oh the fun you'll have! She loves making you laugh. She loves feeding you and changing your diaper. She has, I think, already forgotten life before you.

And your father adores you. Simply adores you. And you adore him. Laughing, at times, only for him. You two have a special relationship already, and I am so happy to see it.

We love you, little darling. Thank you for coming into our family.

Stop That. Why?

"Mom, it hurts when I do this," Chase said as she grabbed her arm and pulled down on it.
"Then stop doing it," I tell her.
"Why?" she asks.

---

"Mom, this water is too hot," Chase said as she turned on the hot water.
"Chase, I told you not to touch the hot water, only turn on the cold water." I say....
"Why?" she asks

---

I must have 50 of these conversations with Chase a day. This number increases if she is tired, decreases if she has slept well. Most times I feel like just walking into another room, because after 25 of them, I start feeling like I am losing my mind.